Drunken Confessions at The Palace Bar
by alwaysbluex
Summary: This had always been a ritual between Chuck and Blair. A ritual absolutely no one knew about, except them. review please!
1. in the past

_**Author - Laura**_

_**Rating - pg13 for language, sexual themes.**_

_**Disclaimer - I do not own gossip girl. K?  
**_

This had always been a ritual between Chuck and Blair. A ritual absolutely no one knew about, except them. When times were rough they would meet at the palace bar, no questions asked, and drown their sorrows with hard liquor. This usually led to confessions, which neither would claim to remember in the morning.

Blair Waldorf wasn't one for getting drunk. Her mother would never allow it, because she would embarrass her of course. Though, she would drink around Chuck, because she could trust he wouldn't take advantage of her, and he wouldn't tell anyone about their private conversations. Honestly, she trusted him, and she knew he trusted her in the exact same way.

Chuck bass however was what you would call an alcoholic . There wasn't a time when you didn't see him armed with a scotch in hand. No one thought anything of it though. Chuck spent most of his nights at the palace bar anyways, trying to pick up a women, or two. The nights when Blair texted him to meet at the palace bar, he shooed the women away instantly.

It was raining hard outside that night, which didn't help Blair's mood one bit. Just running from the taxi to the hotel caused her hair to become tangled and matted, and her make-up to run. Her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, and her stomach faintly growled. When was the last time she ate? She shrugged, did coffee count? Usually she would be running to the bathroom to fix her appearance, no one could ever see her looking so disheveled. That was the thing about Chuck though, he made her feel beautiful even when she was looking her worst. All she new she need right now was him, and gin.

Blair never began drinking without him, but knowing fully well he would be late she decided to start without him. Chuck Bass, he was always "fashionably late" as he liked to call it. Blair rolled her eyes thinking this, it was just plain rude as far as she was concerned. Blair was never late, except when with Chuck. He would whisper something in her ear, and she would be all his. Then afterwards she would hiss at him, as she struggled to re-apply her crimson lipstick and fix her once beautiful curls. Blair Waldorf is NEVER late she would scoff, and walk out the door leaving Chuck trailing feet behind her, and smirking.

She swirled the liquid in her glass and began to think of all the times they had done this before.

_They were only fourteen when this began, and when Chuck began to drink constantly. He texted her only saying three words. "palace bar. 8." She scoffed, the palace bar?! They were only fourteen, and if her mother found out she would be furious. But she went anyways, curious as to what he wanted so badly._

_She ran in the bar, as it was raining . Blair hated the rain. Thankfully she had brought an umbrella. She stalked over the bar slapping Chuck's arm to get his attention. Clearly he was already wasted. "What do you want Bass?" she said with no emotion. She didn't hate him, but she didn't like him either. He was Nate's best friend, and the biggest pervert she had ever met. Every word he spoke was laced with sexual undertone. _

"_Waldorf. Using last names I see. I just want a drinking buddy, and I couldn't get a hold of anyone else. I thought you would enjoy letting loose for once, pull the stick out of your ass perhaps?" he said with a chuckle. _

_Blair rolled her eyes, always insulting her. "Well, I'd rather have a stick up my ass, then be a pompous ass." she smirked, thinking it was a clever comeback. It would be a few years before she became pure evil, and had decent comebacks._

" _You've never been drunk before, have you?" He said smirking, and then let out a hiccup. "So, it's not a big deal. I'm waiting until I'm older" she murmured. "It's not like I'm asking you to have sex with me Waldorf." he paused. "Although…" " Don't even think it!" She cut him off. "Fine. One drink, and then I'm gone." _

_Half a dozen drinks later she was still there. Giggling like a little girl. Chuck never saw her giggle, it was kind of nice. She did another shot, and looked over at Chuck smiling. "So, why did you ask me here anyways? There has to be someeeeething going on." she brushed up against his shoulder. He blushed. Why was he blushing? It was his best friends girlfriend. The only person he could not violate. _

_He wasn't planning on discussing the reasons why he needed to drink until he passed out. But he looked into her beautiful doe eyes, and couldn't resist. She looked too trustworthy. _

"_I've been having a rough few months." he sighed, looking into his empty glass. "I just need a night without my mind torturing me." he blurted out. She giggled some more. "Chuck Bass? Rough time? How is THAT possible, you have everything." "actually, I don't." he snarled. This startled Blair. "Chuck .. I didn't mean anything by it. It's just … what's wrong?" she questioned _

_He looked down at the floor, and she swore she could see tears forming in his eyes. Chuck Bass didn't cry. "You can tell me, really. I don't judge…" he let out a bitter laugh. "Blair Waldorf doesn't judge? That's like saying I have performance anxiety." She narrowed her eyes. "What I mean is, for you I will make an exception."_

"_It's my mom." he said quietly. Blair looked up at him, she could see the fear in his eyes. She knew his mother, granted she hadn't seen her months, but she never thought anything of it. "What about your mom?" she said slowly, as if he was a toddler. They stayed silent for what seemed like an eternity. "She's really sick." he finally said. "Chuck, I'm sorry." she said immediately. And put her arm on his shoulder. He brushed her off and shrugged. "It's okay. Look, I should get you home, I'll get the limo." _

_Both of them stumbled outside, and Blair fell on her ass, bursting out into laughter. Chuck, rolled his eyes and helped her up. "Chuck, I don't feel so good." she said, swaying back and forth, and then proceeded to the sidewalk to hurl a few times. Chuck ran his hand through his hair. "Blair, I know your mom. She's going to freak if you go home like this. Just stay with me at my suite." he reasoned. "Chuck! I'm not your whore. I'm still a …… virgin." she whispered giggling, as if that had any relevance. Chuck put his hands in the air. "Hey, I'm not going to try anything, contrary to what you believe, you're my friend." he said with a sincere voice. _

_She looked at him for a few minutes, and then nodded slowly accepting his offer. He helped her up into the hotel, in the elevator, and into suite suite 1812. He sat her on the bed and handed her one of his shirts. He walked into the bathroom to change, so she could change as well. When he came out she was still in her clothes passed out on the floor. He lifted her on the bed and took off her shoes, and put the covers over her. Then he slowly climbed into bed, and snuggled in with her. He might be yelled at and slapped in the morning, but it was worth it._

_The next time they had a meeting at the palace they were 15. Blair had been the one to text Chuck. "Palace bar. 8. Don't start without me." was all she wrote. He had a feeling he knew what this was about. Just a few days ago Serena had left for boarding school without telling anyone, even her best friend Blair. Chuck knew why she left though. She had slept with Blair's boyfriend, and his best friend Nate. _

_Blair sat alone at the palace bar. He was half an hour late! She was furious with him, and Serena, and Nate. Everyone. They were all abounding her, and she felt like she was drowning. She rubbed her stomach. She had overate at dinner, because she wanted to punish herself. Though, her mom knew about her "condition" and it was impossible for her to throw up without her mother or Dorota finding out. She looked over at the bathroom, it was so tempting. Self destruction felt good, and getting fat was just not acceptable. Sprinting towards the bathroom, she looked under all the stalls, and locked the door. _

_Slowly she knelt down , and pushed her finger down her throat. It burned, but she didn't care. She did it a few more times until there wasn't anymore to throw up. Sitting there, she watched the contents of her stomach leaving the toilet. Her eyes stung with hot tears, and she wiped them on her hand, along with her make-up. Quickly she stood up and went to the mirror and re-applied the smudged makeup. Trying to cover her blotchy eyes, and bright red nose. _

_She wasn't able to cover up the evidence well enough, so she decided just to leave. Chuck was probably fucking some hooker or something, and she really didn't care right now. When she walked out, she ran right into Chuck. He was leaning against the wall at the palace bar. He wasn't smirking though, he had a concerned look on his face. _

_The truth was, he saw everything. He was late because he was debating whether or not to meet her. Chuck wanted to tell her so badly about Nate and Serena. Lying to her was impossible. So, he paced around his room for half an hour deciding what to do. It was 8:30 when he left his suite, only thirty minutes late, she would be there. But definitely give him a hard time about his tardiness. He was about to walk to the bar when he saw her leaving for the bathroom. She looked anxious, sad, and guilty? After she went in he followed, he heard the lock of the door. So he put his ear up against the door listening intently to make sure she was okay. When he heard her throwing up, and then the sobs that came afterwards he knew what was happening._

"…_Blair, I'm sorry I'm late." he said in a sincere voice. Blair scoffed. "Early booty call? Whatever, Bass. Have your fun." she began to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist. "Bass, let go." she snarled. "Blair, just stay okay? You are in desperate need of alcohol and so am I." he pleaded. He didn't know how to confront her about what he just heard. Maybe once he had some scotch in his system the words would come easier. _

"_Yeah, fine. But you're buying." she plopped down on one of the stools. "Martini please" she said, with too much politeness in her voice. "Scotch." Chuck said. They sat in silence for half an hour, looking into their drinks as if it would perform a trick. Chuck broke the silence first. "Blair. I heard you in the bathroom." he blurted out. She glared at him. "Dorota didn't cook my supper well." she snapped. "Then why were you crying?" he questioned. "I don't know. Maybe because throwing up isn't pleasant?" she rolled her eyes. He wasn't buying it. "Blair, just be honest with me. Ok? I wouldn't judge." she scoffed. "Chuck bass wouldn't judge? That's like saying, she thought hard for a minute. "That's like saying Serena is a good friend." he smirked. "for you I'll make an exception."_

"_I'm just stressed. Okay?! Serena left without a note, a goodbye, anything! My parents are constantly fighting. And Nate. Don't even get me started on Nate. He's … avoiding me. Not answering my calls, texts. I just … " she sighed. "He was the one person keeping me together, and now he's just breaking me further." a single tear left her right eye. "It's just too much to handle right now." Chuck bit down hard on his lip. He wanted to tell her so bad, but she couldn't handle it right now. "Blair, it's all going to work out." She rolled her eyes._

"_Just listen. Serena has always been a bad friend. I'm sure she will come crawling back soon asking for forgiveness. Parents fight, and I know yours can work it out. Nate's just stressed right now, he's not even talking to me Blair. Plus, he's a virgin too. He'll probably last eight seconds, and that's no good for you, right?" he chuckled. She glared at him. "I know this isn't reassuring, but I'm here. Ok?" Why was he being so nice? He needed to stop drinking right now. Blair slightly smiled. "You aren't THAT bad Bass. I wouldn't drink with anyone else." she giggled._

_She hopped off the stool. "Well, I should get going." she began to walk away. "Bass?" Chuck turned around . "Yes Waldorf?" I didn't mean to, … you know. Just don't tell anyone. Ok?" she said quietly. Chuck sighed. "Just don't do it again. You're too beautiful to be doing stuff like that." She nodded and walked away. She smiled like an idiot from the time he said that, until she climbed in her bed. She wouldn't do it for two weeks. Until her father left her for France, and another man. _

_The next time it happened. They were sixteen. Chuck was seducing some women at the bar when he got the text. "Palace Bar. 15 minutes." He quickly shooed the women away, and waited for her. Chuck Bass didn't wait for anyone. _

_Blair stomped in the palace, in a long trench coat. Her make-up was smeared, and her hair matted from the rain. She sat on the stool beside Chuck. "Just Vodka. Keep it coming." she snarled. Her trench coat had slightly been undone and showed she was wearing some pretty revealing clothes. He smirked. "Waldorf, I'm flattered. My suite?" She had no idea what he was talking about until she looked down and saw her coat had come undone revealing what she was wearing. She let out a bitter laugh. "Don't flatter yourself Bass." _

"_Don't torture me Waldorf." he groaned. "You're my best friends girl friend, but all I want to do right now is ravish you." he smirked. "Do NOT talk about Nate." she spat. Wiping a tear from her eyes, they were filled with anger. Chuck sighed. "What did dear Nathaniel do this time? Smoke a joint before your date? Looked the wrong way at another women?" he teased._

"_I fucking hate him and Serena." she spat. Chuck's eyes widened, she knew. "Really?" he said, trying to appear uninterested. After a few minutes she began her rant. "You know what that skank did? She slept with my boyfriend! My boyfriend for fuck sakes. Who does that? That bitch is going to be ruined!" she yelled. Everyone turned and looked at them. "What are you looking at?!" she spat to an old women. Chuck was stunned. This wasn't Blair at all. Of course she was a bitch, but not like this._

"_Blair." he said quietly, hoping she would quiet down as well. "Why are you blaming only Serena for this? It's takes two." Nate was his best friend, but he shouldn't get off the hook so easy. "Because I need Nate." she sobbed . _

_The next time this happened they were seventeen. And their relationship had changed a great deal. She had slept with him twice, for what she thought was revenge. But became more than she would ever admit. Her thanksgiving had been horrible. First Serena confronted Blair about Chuck, and it turned into this big unessacary fight. So what if she slept with Chuck? _

_Then her father didn't come, and worst of all he didn't call to tell her. After being angry with her father she finds out it was her mother who un-invited him. Causing her to binge, and purge. She hadn't done this since being with Chuck. He made her feel worthy, so she didn't feel the need to. Thankfully she made up with Serena. But she was still quite upset. So she sat in bed watching Breakfast at Tiffany's. _

_Her phone started to vibrate . It was a text. All it said was "palace bar. 5 minutes." She knew instantly it was from Chuck. Why did this make her feel so good? She was falling for Chuck Bass, how wonderful. She hurried around her room trying to find something sexy to wear. She settled on a short black dress, and red heels. She applied her crimson red lipstick because that was his favourite, and was out the door._

_He was already sitting at the bar. Probably because she was 15 minutes late, but she needed to look good. She took a seat beside him. "Martini, please." she said. "Waldorf, you're late." she smirked, and gulped down her drink. "fashionably late." she smirked back. "So, why did you need me Bass?" she grinned. He was defiantly rubbing off on her. _

"_I had a bad day." he sighed. "Me too." She sighed. He looked at her. "you want to talk about it?" he said. She shrugged. "Not really." he looked a bit upset by it. "It's just, I thought you could get my mind off the day." she smirked._

_The next time they did this they were still seventeen. Though this wasn't a pleasant encounter. It was one of the worst days of Blair Waldorf's life, and Chuck's too. Nate had just found out about Chuck and Blair's affair, she was fighting with Serena, and she had just been dethroned. All she had was Chuck now, or so she thought. She texted him. "Palace bar. 8" _

_He rolled his eyes at the text, he was already there, and already wasted. He didn't need to hear her ranting about how Nate had dumped her sorry ass. Because he had dumped his sorry ass as well. Blair came in quietly and took a seat beside Chuck. He just starred at her as she declined a drink from the bartender. _

_She sighed. "I came to congratulate you in person." She began her rant. "You ruined my relationship with Nate." He rolled his eyes and took another drink of his scotch. "And Serena, all of my friends. Even little Jenny thinks she's too good for me. So, Bravo! Just like you wanted. I have no one to turn to but you." she said quietly. _

"_Actually, you don't even have me." he said. "Enough." she said. "I'll try to be more succinct." he paused. "You held a certain fascination, when you were beautiful, delicate and untouched. And now your like, one of the Arabians my father used to own." he looked down for a moment. "rode hard and put away wet." he said with no emotion. "I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would." he took another drink of his scotch. _

_Blair sat there for what seemed for an eternity trying to process what he had just said. Realization hit her pretty quick that she had no one. Slowly, she got off the bar stool, and walked out. Secretly hoping Chuck would call out after her._

They never met at the palace bar again. Until now.

Blair decided to make an exception though.. Just like that night, realization had hit her. She couldn't live without Chuck Bass in her life. Her whole life had been miserable since they ended. They were on and off all through high school, until college. They now hadn't spoken in two years. Even though she hated to admit it she missed him desperately.

All this time without him she was a wreck. She only focused on her work, because anything else was too difficult. She was over-worked, and lonely. So she decided to leave him a text. All it read was. "Palace Bar. 9." Chuck immediately knew who it was from. Though he was in the middle of bedding some girl, he shooed her away after he saw the text from Blair. He ran his hand through his hair. They hadn't talked in years. What could she want? He sighed. He needed to go down there and find out.

He arrived at 9:30, and quietly walked up to Blair, and took a seat beside her. "Bass." she said. "Waldorf." he replied.

**A/N - I hope I wasn't to out of character! I wrote this in only two hours, and usually I take much longer. It's a bit rough. But review if you enjoyed. I left you at a cliffhanger ! Should I continue it as a future-fic. Let me know!**


	2. apologies for past mistakes

**Author : Laura (alwaysbluex)**

**Disclaimer : I do not own gossip girl. Just this storyline. **

**A/N : I listened to music while writing this chapter because I couldn't come up with any good ideas. **

**So my play list - Buzzin - Shwayze (did anyone see the first 5 minutes of summer kind of wonderful?! OMG) rich girl - the virgins, catch me if you can - fall out boy, heart attack - low vs. diamond. **

As Chuck sat down, he looked over at Blair. She was clearly a mess. The circles under her eyes were so dark even make-up couldn't fix it. Her hair wasn't perfectly curled, it actually looked quite damp. Blair didn't have an umbrella with her? She's always prepared. Her eyeliner, and mascara were smudged, and starting to run to her cheeks. And the presence of once ruby red lipstick was barely noticeable.

Blair looked over and saw him starring. "What are you looking at Bass?" she snapped. All of the sudden she felt embarrassed about her appearance. Chuck looked into her eyes. They looked so worn out and tired. He wished he could just kiss her, and all of it would all go away. He coughed. "Nothing. Waldorf." he smirked. Blair rolled her eyes. "Still the same Blair Waldorf I remember." he said, sipping his scotch.

"Hardly." she laughed. They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Chuck finally spoke up. "So, Waldorf. Explain yourself. You skipped off to Paris two years ago, without a letter, call .. Anything. And now all of the sudden you're back?" Blair looked down in her now empty drink and sighed. What was she doing here anyways? She secretly wanted Chuck , but that wasn't enough for her to be coming back. After what had happened, or hadn't happened.

"I needed to escape." she sighed. "Things just didn't make sense to me anymore." He looked at her, a million questions filled his mind instantly. Blair had nothing to run away from. Life seemed near perfect for Blair Waldorf two years ago, she had just graduated from Yale, was starting a promising career, and had prince charming for a fiancé. He supposed that night had ruined everything.

"I felt so bad for what I, … we did." she said quietly. "Marcus didn't deserve it, you didn't deserve it." He looked at her, he eyes were filled with guilt and sadness. "Blair.." he said softly, touching her hand. "I really meant what I said that night, and I wish you wouldn't have left."

_**2 years ago .**_

_Chuck sighed as he looked at her. Brown curls flying about. A smile plastered on her face that couldn't be removed, even if force. She truly did look happy, and she had reason to be. It hurt Chuck in some twisted way though, because none of her happiness had anything to do with him. This was too much to handle, Blair kissing some other guy. Though, he would never admit it, he truly did love her._

_He stepped outside and fumbled through his pocket looking for a lighter. Yeah, he was almost 23 years old, doesn't mean he couldn't enjoy a joint when things got tough. Too bad Nate had grown out of his stoner faze after high school. Ah, Nate Archibald. He was truly happy, with the girl he had always loved. Chuck's dear sister, Serena Van Der Woodsen. It seemed like he was the only member of the non-judging breakfast club that was completely miserable. _

_Why did he have to abandon Blair? That could be him in there, kissing her, getting married to her tomorrow. God, he wanted that so bad. On top of it he could have fixed it all at the white party. By just saying those three simple words. Word's he had never said to anyone, except his mother. But look how that had ended. _

"_CHUCK, EW!" a female voice shrieked, interrupting his thoughts. "put that out right now!" Blair spat. He just chuckled and resumed what he was doing. So she went up to him and pulled the joint out of his hand, and stomped on it. "Ugh these heels are worth more than your life! What if they reek of pot now?!" she rambled. "First thing Waldorf. They could never be as much as my life. I'm priceless." he smirked. She rolled her eyes, classic Blair. "Second thing, you are overacting, you do not smell of pot, you smell absolutely intoxicating." he said, his hand reaching out to touch on of her chestnut curls._

_She slapped his hand away . "Don't touch me Bass, I'll yell rape. I swear." She pointed her finger in his face. All he did was chuckle at this comment. "Why are you even out here? Fiancé not satisfying your needs? If that's the case I could be of assistance." Blair scoffed. "You disgust me Chuck. I came out here for some fresh air, but not the kind out were having. And with that I'll be getting back to my rehearsal dinner." She made it is as far as the front door, when she almost fell over. _

_Was she imagining things? Did he just say what she thought he said? That couldn't be. Chuck Bass would never utter those words. Slowly, she turned around and looked him in the eye. "What did you say to me?" she said quietly. He smiled, a genuine smile and walked over to her. "I said, I love you. I have for the past five years." Blair shook her head. "Why are you saying this, now of all times? Where was this five years ago when I really needed to hear it? I'm getting married tomorrow for Christ's sakes!" _

"_Don't marry him. I know you love me too." he said, still smiling. She sighed. "Yeah, I do, and I have for awhile." he leaned into kiss her. "But, you're too late. I'm getting married tomorrow, and I'm not just going to abandon him." she said, her eyes becoming glassy. Chuck gave her a pleading look. "Blair…" she put her finger on his lips. "No Chuck. I'm sorry." and with that she was gone. _

_Chuck wasn't giving up that easy. He ran after her. "Blair. BLAIR, BLAIR." he yelled. She slapped him. "Chuck, shut up. You're making a scene. What if Marcus were to see?" she questioned. "Marcus is your security blanket Blair! Ever since I left you, you've been with him. I don't know how much more I can apologize. I know you don't love him like you love me, and I can prove it." he said, and then began to kiss her with more passion then she had ever felt. She fought for a minute, and then gave in._

_They stumbled into the nearest bathroom. Blair wasn't thinking about tomorrow, even twenty minutes from now. All she was thinking about how much she had missed him these past five years. She fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, as her dress was already discarded on the floor. He pushed her up against the sink, and began to kiss her even more fiercely than before. She was about the get rid of his boxers to the floor when the door opened… "_

**A/N : I enjoy the cliffhangers! (mostly because I'm making this story up as I go.) But that's besides the point! Anyways - I plan on having the next chapter done by tomorrow night. **

**Preview of what's going to happen. **

**- I'll finish the two year flashback, revealing who interrupted them at the door.**

**- Explain how and why Blair left.**

**- Also, more B/C drunken confessions at the palace bar!**

**Review if you enjoyed what you read please! It makes me want to continue that much more.**

**3**


	3. broken promises

**Author : Laura (alwaysbluex)**

**Disclaimer : I do not own gossip girl. Just this storyline. **

**A/N : Sorry it wasn't done when I said it would be, but I'm making up for that with a long chapter! (at least for me).**

_**2 years ago - **_

"_They stumbled into the nearest bathroom. Blair wasn't thinking about tomorrow, even twenty minutes from now. All she was thinking about how much she had missed him these past five years. She fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, as her dress was already discarded on the floor. He pushed her up against the sink, and began to kiss her even more fiercely than before. She was about the get rid of his boxers to the floor when the door opened… "_

_She looked over, legs still wrapped firmly around Chuck's waist. It took her a moment to realize who was standing in the doorway, glaring at both her and Chuck. "Blair?" Serena choked. "What the hell is this?" She looked angry, really angry. Blair stayed calm, and rolled her eyes. "No need to judge, S. You've done much worse." She said, pushing chuck away and retrieving her dress from the bathroom floor. Serena brushed her long golden locks out of her face, and sighed. "Marcus doesn't deserve this Blair, and you know it."_

"_Just stop Serena? It's none of your business!" she spat. An idea began to form within Serena, maybe not a smart idea, but it would be for the best. "Yeah, it might not be my business, but I'm sure Marcus would LOVE to know about your infidelity." Blair rolled her eyes. "you wouldn't do that, I'm the bitch, not you." Serena let out a bitter chuckle. "Wanna bet?" _

_Serena sped out of the bathroom before Blair or Chuck could stop her. She wasn't sure why she felt the need to tell Marcus. In some weird way she felt as if she was helping Blair. Serena knew how much they loved each other, but their pride always got in the way of that. Reminding herself she was actually helping Blair, she tapped on Marcus's shoulder. "Marcus, I think we need to talk… privately." she added. _

_She led him to a deserted hallway. Her mind was frantically searching for an answer. How would she tell him this. Should she even tell him this? Blair might hate her forever, or she might thank her later on. Serena let out a sigh. "Marcus, I don't know how to say this.." she jumped, startled by the noise that was coming from the end of the hall, as the sound got closer she realized who it was. "SERENA." Blair yelled, running as fast as her heels would allow._

_Serena slowly turned around to face Blair. Blair's eyes were pleading for Serena to keep her mouth shut. "B." she started "He needs to know what I just saw." she was going to add you'll thank me for it later, but that would not help the situation. "What did you see Serena?" Marcus questioned. After a long pause. Serena decided what she was going to say. "I saw Blair making out with another man In the bathroom." Serena then avoided all eye contact with Blair. _

_Marcus looked at Blair, and right away he knew Serena wasn't lying. Her lipstick was smeared, her curls were a mess, and her dress was missing most of it's buttons. "Marcus, .. ." she began to plead, but he cut her off. "What's wrong with you Blair, we're getting married tomorrow. I cannot believe you." "I know, but if I could just explain." Marcus let out a bitter laugh. "No explanation needed, this wedding is not happening. I see what this is all about, you want my title. That's the only thing you enjoy about me, and that isn't enough for me." Blair was outraged by his accusation and slapped him across the right cheek. The sting bounced off the ceiling of the hall way._

"_We're done Blair." he said, looking past her. Tears began to crowd Blair's face. "B.." Serena started. "DON'T, you talk to me. Ever again." she spat. Walking down the hall she needed to think of what her next move would be. What could she do? It was ruined, all ruined. Black tears ran down her face, she quickly got rid of them. She decided she should go outside, no one would notice she was crying, since it was raining already. How convinent _

_Two hours later things made less sense then before. She couldn't believe how badly she had fucked things up. "I blame it on Bass." she said to no one in particular. If he hadn't said those three words she had wanted him to say for so long, this wouldn't be happening. He shouldn't have said them! It was too late. Now, she's all alone, just like before. But the only difference is before she was able to go back to Chuck . Get drunk at the palace bar, and her worries would evaporate with enough alcohol. _

_The banging at his door was pissing him off tonight. Naturally he would be amused, but he didn't need any woman tonight. He needed one, and her name was Blair. But she was getting married tomorrow. Even though he had tried to stop it, it hadn't worked. After five minutes of persistent banging he decided to open the door. Whoever was on the other side was about to get an earful. _

_They just stood there, looking at each other. Blair was soaking wet, her make-up had been wiped away, and her eyes were red and puffy. "Bass, I think we need some alcohol." she let out a pathetic laugh. "I was just thinking that as well, Waldorf." She went straight to his dresser, and rummaged through until she found a white dress shirt, then proceeded to the bathroom to change. Chuck just stood there dumbfounded. She was getting married to Marcus tomorrow, wasn't she? _

_Blair came out in only one of his white dress shirts. It baffled him how she could look even better in that, then in her thousand dollar dress. She plopped on his bed, burying her head in his pillows. After a few moments of silence she said. "Serena told Marcus, the wedding will not be happening tomorrow. Which is why I must get drunk off my ass and forget this day never happened." _

"_If you insist Waldorf." he handed her a bottle of vodka and a glass. However she dismissed the glass completely and went straight to the bottle. "Whoa, princess slow down. I want you to remember some of the things that happened tonight." he smirked. "No, Bass. You don't LOVE me. You were high when you said it, and I was dumb to believe it. So that is one thing I defiantly want to forget." she sighed, talking another gulp, it burned her throat. But she enjoyed it. _

"_I know why your hesitant to believe me. But to be honest, I think I always have. Which is hard for me to admit. That night in the limo just made me realize I could no longer dismiss it, or deny you. I haven't been able to say I love you, because it's hard. I don't say it to anyone. But I really do love you Blair, I'd do anything for you." she butted in. "Except go to Tuscany with me." Chuck looked down at the ground. "Relationships aren't my thing Blair." he smirked. "But for you I could make and exception."_

_She remembered all the times in the bar when they would make exceptions, just for each other. The fact that he remembered made all the difference. Maybe she did love him? There was plenty of reasons why she shouldn't. But for now that didn't matter. She flew across the bed, lips crashing together. "Lets finish what we started in the bathroom Waldorf." he smirked. "Sounds good to me Bass." She smirked back._

_The constant ringing of her cell phone caused her to wake up. She glanced at Chuck's alarm clock, it only read 8:30 am. Which meant they had only been sleeping for two hours. The night was full of missed passion, but they had finally fell asleep in each others arms around 6:30 am. She groaned finally getting up to grab her cell phone after the fifth ring. Her heart stopped at she looked at the caller id. It was Marcus._

_Quietly she grabbed Chuck's shirt and headed to the bathroom. "Marcus?" she said quietly, making sure not to wake Chuck. "I just want to apologize Blair, for jumping to conclusions without knowing what actually happened. Being without you last night made me realize how much I love you." "Marcus…" she started. "Please, Blair. Lets forget about last night, today's our wedding day, and nothing will ruin it." _

_She bit her lip. Except for what she did last night. She did love Marcus, but she also loved Chuck. Though, Chuck would never change his ways, not even for Blair. She wanted a steady relationship, children, a place she could call home. But she knew Chuck wouldn't be able to provide that for her, he would always fall short. Hot tears stung her eyes. "Okay Marcus, we will still get married." Marcus sighed with relief. "I love you Blair." with that she snapped her phone shut._

_She wiped her tears away, not allowing them to fall onto her cheeks. Slowly she opened the bathroom door and looked at Chuck. He was going to hate her. She walked over and snuggled back in bed. Just a few more minutes, and she would have to leave him, for good. When she climbed into bed it woke up Chuck. "Good morning gorgeous." he smirked. "Ready for another round." she looked down at the floor. "Chuck we need to talk."_

"_WHY BLAIR? You don't want to be with him." Chuck spat. Blair shook her heard. "Chuck, that isn't true, I've loved him for many years. I'm sorry about last night, it was a foolish mistake, one I won't make again." This hurt Chuck more than he realized at the time. "Get out." Chuck said blankly. She nodded , and slowly walked out, fully knowing this would be the last time they probably ever spoke. "Bye, Bass" she whispered."_

**A/N: I didn't think I was going to make this two year flashback so long. But I need to in order for you to understand what exactly is going to happen in the present for Blair and Chuck. Reviews are always welcome!**

**So for the next chapter I WILL actually finish the two year flashback.**

**The Blair/Marcus will be a wedding from hell! Lots and lots of drama to come.**

**Gossip girl starts in just three days! Time really does go by fast.**

**Btw. I will have the next chapter up before Monday. It will be very long, and probably the last one.**


	4. all over

-1**Author : Laura (alwaysbluex)**

**Disclaimer : I do not own gossip girl. Just this storyline. **

**A/ N: okay, my paragraphs were bad in the last few chapters. I mean, no indenting where needed. Etc. . Mostly because I'm doing this just for fun, and I'm lazy. But I'm going to be a junior in high school this year. Might as well practice on here, right? OK. Done with my rambling. **

**Also, sorry I took so long with this chapter. I just started school this week, and it more tiring and busy then I remembered it to be.**

**ANYWAYS . ENJOY!**

_**2 years ago (continued) -**_

_Tears were still spilling from her eyes as she stood in the empty elevator. She couldn't go home yet, she just couldn't. If people see her coming out of the hotel looking like this, it would raise questions. Questions she could not answer, especially if she was marrying Marcus this afternoon. She knocked on suite 1810, praying for Serena to answer the door, even though she was furious with her, she needed her best friend._

_"B, oh my god. I'm sorry. I don't know, oh my god, I'm so glad your okay." Serena mumbled into her best friends chestnut locks. _

_"S, I am not okay. Not even close." Blair sighed. Serena gestured towards the couch. "B, listen. I told Marcus for a reason, and I want to explain so you don't hate me." Serena looked into her sad eyes, and immediately regretted last nights decision. "I know you love Chuck." Serena said quietly. "And he loves you back. Marcus is a great, and a bit dull." Serena giggled. Nope, no comic relief. "But I don't think you should marry him." _

_Blair sat there for a few moments processing this. Even Serena thought this? Serena hates her step-brother, genuinely hates him. As much as it pains her to say it, it must be true. "I slept with Chuck last night." Blair blurted._

_"That's… great? Right?" Serena asked, and slightly cringed. Sex with Chuck sounded horrifying. _

_"No, Well yes of course it was. But no, Marcus called me this morning asking if the wedding could still happen, and I agreed." Blair wiped the stray tear from her right cheek._

_"Blair.." Serena started._

_"S, you cannot tell anyone. Marcus and I need to get married. Chuck could never be a husband, a father. He likes his alcohol, and his countless women." Blair shook her head. "Chuck isn't the kind of guy I want to end up with." she whispered. Serena nodded and hugged her best friend, she fucked things up enough for a lifetime._

_The wedding was beautiful, elegant, and very tasteful. Everything to be excepted from a Blair Waldorf wedding. Blair smiled a little at her appearance. She looked exactly as she imagined she would as a little girl, and she was marrying her prince charming to boot. But her heart didn't feel in it. All she could think about was Chuck, and how horrible she was for leading him on like that. She shook the thoughts from her head. He was probably with some hooker right now, instead of attending her wedding. At least that's what she hoped he was doing. _

_Serena gasped. "B, you look, amazing!" _

_Blair plastered on a fake smile before turning around. "Thanks, S." _

_Serena smiled back, but her smile looked genuine. "You ready?"_

"_As ready as I'll ever be." Blair sighed. But lent a steady smile._

_The Ceremony had went smoothly. When she looked in Marcus's eyes, she didn't seem to worry as much. That's what she liked, well loved about him. The best part was no Chuck Bass in sight, which meant no interruptions or awkward encounters. The reception was held in a large hall, very elegant. They way the light shone off the chandeliers made Blair feel like she was in a dream. Except Chuck kept slipping in every now and then. _

_"Everything alright Blair?" Marcus said, caressing her cheek._

_Blair looked up from her champagne. "Of Course." she smiled back._

_All of the sudden she heard it. His voice. It was becoming louder, as he was coming closer. Blair closed her eyes, hoping this was actually a dream. Chuck wouldn't do anything to ruin her day._

_Chuck was more intoxicated then ever before. Drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes had now invaded his body. Though, he wasn't stumbling around like an idiot. He just stood at the front of the hall with a huge grin plastered on his face. He began to clink on his glass._

_"I would like to make a toast. Since I had been told I'm quite good at it." he raised his glass to Lily and chuckled a bit. "I've known Blair Waldorf since we were little kids. She had a lot of class, even at the young age of six. She would never run around with the other kids, in fear of getting her dress dirty, and her headband out of place. But through the years, her class evaporated. Probably because I took it away from her with the hot, dirty, limo sex. This was right after she dumped her boyfriend at the time, Nate Archibald. Pretty Classy, eh? Anyways. She lost it completely with the pregnancy scandal. I mean she had sex with two guys in one week. What kind of person with class does that?" _

_Blair stood up slowly, and Serena had already rushed over to Chuck trying to make him leave. _

_"No, Serena. There's just one more part of my speech left. I promise it's nice." he gave her a convincing grin. _

_Serena scoffed. "No, Chuck. You need to leave right now." instead he pushed Serena out of his way and went up to where Blair and Marcus were sitting._

_"However, I thought over the past five years Blair Waldorf had regained class. But what kind of person has sex with someone else all night the day before their wedding." He chuckled. "Stay classy, Blair. And you are very welcome for last night, it was my pleasure."_

_Everyone gasped, and looked from Blair, to Marcus, and paused at Chuck. Blair just stood there, not knowing what to do or say. She could deny it to the death, but would anyone really believe her. Chuck, did many things, but lying wasn't one of them. Marcus looked at Blair and could tell it was the truth. She didn't retort back immediately calling him a mother chucker or bass-tard. Then he looked at Chuck, a smirk still plastered on his face. _

_Marcus leapt up from the table and punched Chuck in the right eye. Chuck stumbled backwards, but only for a minute before retaliating. Blair still stood there in shock. A full out brawl going on, in the middle of her reception. This isn't happening, this isn't happening she repeated silently to herself. Nate went up and eventually was able to break the two apart. _

_Blair ran over to Marcus. "Marcus! Are you okay?" _

_He pushed Blair away and glared at her. "You don't love me do you?"_

_Blair thought for a minute, and decided to actually be honest with someone for once. "I love the idea of you Marcus. You're the perfect man, and you would be the perfect father." she said quietly, holding his hand. _

_"Not enough Blair." Marcus said shaking his head. _

_He silently just walked out of the room. Leaving the attention on Blair. Sitting on the ground in her beautiful white gown, looking more broken then ever. She just sat there, as if she was frozen. What could she do? Her husband just left her for good, and all her dirty laundry was aired for everyone to see. "_

_**A/N:**_**I KNOW I KNOW. You're thinking when the hell will this flashback ever end? I was hoping to make this chapter bigger, but I like to update every couple of days. So the next chapter will be the last of this one. I made this story up as I went, so it's not the best. But I hope you guys are enjoying it. Reviews are always appreciated! **

**Xoxo!**

**BTW. Starting a new story tonight C/B obviously. Just incase you're interested. :D **


	5. making up

-1**Author : Laura (alwaysbluex)**

**Disclaimer : I do not own gossip girl. Just this storyline. **

**A/ N: K, sorry it took so long. But, last chapter! Just going to wrap it all up so I can start some new stuff. **

**Enjoy!**

**"**Which night are you talking about." Blair questioned. "The one were you said you loved me? Or the one where you aired my dirty laundry for everyone to see?"

Chuck sighed. "You hurt me Blair, that's hard to do."

"I know Bass." she looked into his eyes. "I think we enjoy hurting each other."

Chuck looked at her silently, not knowing what to say exactly. It was true, maybe not the enjoyment part, but they were always hurting each other. Wanting to get even, a relationship like that could never work.

"I blame the people that raised us." Chuck finally said.

Blair giggled, that was when you knew she's had to much to drink. "Bart Bass and Eleanor Waldorf, not great role models were they?" she asked.

Chuck shook his head. "No, not really."

Blair smiled. "They kept us safe though."

They spent the next four hours in the bar. Talking about missed memories, and not so missed memories. Blair sighed looking at her watch it was already past midnight and she didn't even have a place to stay yet.

"I better go." she said quietly. "Thanks though. For tonight." she cracked a small smile and slid off the bar stool.

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" he blurted out, instantly regretting it.

Blair shook her head silently. "I'm just going to grab a place in the hotel for tonight."

Chuck walked up beside her and put a brass key in her head. "Suite 1812. I think you remember where it is." he smirked.

"You've kept it all these years." she asked, slightly shocked.

"Of course. So many good memories." he said, a smirk still plastered on his face.

Blair scoffed. "Of course." she started to walk away, but then turned around. "Are you coming to make more memories or what?" she smirked.

"You know me well." Chuck said, already a few steps ahead of her.

**A/N: I got bored with this story. But I felt I should at least wrap it up. Thank you so much for the reviews. More Chuck/Blair stories to come!**


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